Franc, Beloved Father/-in-Law & Wedding Planner, is Coming to Europe

Continuing our Bad Habits in Trip Planning- we are off to pick up Ian's dad tomorrow in Copenhagen!

Excited? YES!
Ready? No. yes. Maybe.

There really isn't a lot to get ready. We're just going to be gone for 2 days & the hotel is already taken care of. We have done our rambling travel reading about the city, picking out what beers & food we want to eat (you know, the important stuff). But life has been so hectic I don't even know if I have processed. We're seeing Greg. Tomorrow. Ahhhhh!

Copenhagen is going to be great. We are literally ecstatic to see Greg. His cousin visited with us just a few weeks ago, but he will be the first of the immediate family/friends to come over this time.

In his honor, some great Greg pics:

Greg impersonates Ian in some of his wares

Last time Greg visited with Granny who is in her 80s. They were troopers, but Greg recalls this winter as the "coldest winter Berlin has ever seen".  It wasn't. But it was pretty cold.

Greg & Ian before the wedding

Greg & I tear it up!

You can see where Ian gets his humor

Last 4th of July - "Look at my cock" was frequently heard. From my FiL. Yeah- it was weird, but not entirely unexpected.


Welcome to Europe, once again, Mr. Porter!

Update: The trip was...a success. I think. You decide. 

A Gay Affair

With New York finally legalizing Gay marriage & Berlin's Christopher Day Parade this Fri/Sat- we were feeling like happy rainbows. We missed our Seattlites & Seattle's always wonderful Pride Parade, but we were pretty sure Berlin could bring it. And it could. With leather chaps.

We lay down in the grass under the Siegessaule, symbol of Victory & Berlin, synonymous with the city's most popular gay Mag. It was to be the end site of the parade. Some enterprising parade goers sold beers from a crate for a ridiculous sum.

After much delay, the parade got started. Very unGerman to have late anything, but that has been our experience with parades here in Berlin. No matter- we were ready to party. Huge semis rolled by with gay & straight alike dancing on the vehicles, beside the vehicles, with a little trail of followers also dancing.

Young & old, black & white, it was wonderful to amidst such a diverse group.

These guys were not here for the parade. Bunch of drunk Deutschbags started a stupid fight right in front of us. (Deutschbags are a  thing- pass it on)



My foot paid the price from a piece of flying glass when they dropped their beer. My feet have not had a good start to summer.

The parade stalled out tough only about 20 min in. Hmph. And of course the CDU (Christian Democratic Union) was the one in front of us with the worst music. Boooooo! They also kept tossing cards that were like ninja throwing stars. Ouch you jerks!

The next float was...how do I put this delicately- skanky. I love that they were average looking dudes putting it all out there. The ladies behind them could of learned a thing or two.



Siegessaule continued to be resplendent throughout the day.

The break did allow us to observe in depth this domination scene. Roman gladiators were pulled in the chariot by leathered slaves and a dominatrix had her gimp on a cart. Awesome.

We danced for a bit after stumbling upon a friend & they put on La Roux! I am close to obsessed with her at this point.



Costumes galore and some serious drag queen Glamazons.

Oh, the Bears! I love the guy in leather that apparently got too hot. And the King. And I have no idea what is going on with that guy pulling up his pants at the end.

The wrath of the parade was great. But so is the German need for clean.



In it's wake, the parade left pride at how far we've come, yet how far there is to go. And lots and lots of garbage. If it seems like there are an awful lot of festivals in Berlin- there is. Especially in Summer. It's glorious.

Karneval der Kulturen in Berlin

We were excited to observe the Karneval der Kulturen parade as last time we were here. We loved the vivid costumes, dancing, singing, and drums. As it was several hours late last time, we took our time, touring Ian's cousins around Berlin, looking at the East Side Gallery, Documentation Center, and enjoying one of Berlin's legendary brunches  (one of our favorites- Intimes).

The Cousins - Jim & Marsha

As we pulled up to Kreuzberg , 20 min late, we noticed signs of the parade being over. Calling friends, they were confused as to what was happening. A few floats had gone by, but now people were breaking up. Well, bummer. Damn those hippies!

No matter- we were at the epicenter of the festival for the second day. Lounging in what was quickly becoming a dustball of a park, we actually got to see some pretty awesome stuff.

Like these bizarre ski things that were promptly broken as drunks couldn't coordinate, but kids did pretty good on them!

An unusual arm chair

Photo Bombing (where's Ian?)

Turkish dancing




Coconut drinks

 And eventually when we wandered away, we got happily stuck in a vortex of a house party that had spilled onto the street. This moment perfectly epitomized why Berlin is like no where else. Events just morph together in ways that you would never expect. It's a collective mindset that I have never experienced anywhere else. I love it. And you would too if you were here.




This weekend- Christopher Street Day (CSD) - an annual celebration and demonstration for the rights of LGBT people. Definitely miss our Seattle peeps & the Gay Pride Parade, but I have a feeling Berlin can match it. Going to be fierce!

For more of magnificent May:

Erster Mai 2012 (May Day) 

May Day in Berlin and Beyond

Just another Karneval der Kulturen

The Men in My Life

Saturday was Herr Mann's birthday! I always stress about doing something he likes and making it as fun, unexpected, and untethered from the ordinary as possible. I'm lucky he is easy to please, but I want to do more than he could possibly imagine.

I surprised him with candies (yes he's a diabetic- don't judge me) and treats all week, including some "American Instant Hash Browns". They came with the flag on them and in a squeeze container where you just add water, shake, and squeeze into a hot pan. Sound gross, but -as expected- Ian is pretty excited about them.

On Friday, after Ian left for class, I leapt into action baking up a storm. I had been gleaning information about his school all week & somehow he hadn't noticed. I was going to break into his Kita & surprise him. I figured out the tram, made my way through the construction, found the school, remembered the door code and found his classroom. I was sweating as I tried to explain who I was, but was well rewarded by Ian's total shock at my appearance. He woke one of his favorites (Darius) up from his nap & I got to meet a bunch of the kids. So little! And Ian is amazing with them, picking them up and teasing them. I wish I had his ease around kids. Stay at home dad Ian?

A real Burrito!

We left the cookies for the kids and I took him to lunch at Dolores. A little bit of Mexican food makes Mr. Ian smile. Berlin was on it's best behavior as we wandered around Mitte, passing the Dom. We picked up some ice cream & enjoyed a beautiful Berlin.

Fernsehturm

Berliner Dom & Fernsehturm

Later that night, as the clock hit 12, I brought out my trump card. A friend & I had visited the Currywurst Museum last week & while it was overpriced for the tiny display, I found the gift among gifts. Ian eats at this mom & pop currywurst stand most days that he is at class. At the museum I found a personal currywurst fork & knife set, complete with toothpick. I had to have it, it was perfect. I presented it and Ian marveled at the German engineering, design, and sausage stabbing abilities. I can't wait to get a picture of him using it.

For his birthday, we decided to throw our version of Das Perfekte Dinner. A popular German TV show- I am completely addicted and iIt is one of the few things I really try to understand (gotta work on that). A couple of friends have tried their hand at it to great success, and we knew exactly what we wanted to do. MEXICAN.

Several epic shopping trips occurred and prep began the night before the party:

• Sangria marinating in fridge - check
• Popsicles freezing - check
• Cookies made & decorated - check
• Beans once fried - check

But on the day of, there was a lot left to do.We made:

• Spicy Salsa
• Guacamole
• Pico de Gallo
• Corn & Bean Salad
• Refried Beans (1st time from scratch!)
• Chile Rellenos
• Rum Sunrise Popsicles

Entree of Chile Relleno, refried beans, & corn/bean salad

Dinner Guests

Hardly authentic, but legitimately delicious.

The next morning it was as if locusts had descended with nary a nibble of food to be had. Proof it was good, right? And we were even left with some awesome presents from friends- not necessary, but much appreciated.

Birthday weekend continued onto a Sunday in which we pretty much only left TV watching in bed to make nachos. I think that was the most I've slept in years. As I am usually the one making Ian get-up, it was my final gift to him to let him have a lazy, sleep in day.

All in all- smashing success! Laughs were had, friends were fed & entertained, drinks were drunk, and loads of food were consumed. You've got 5 months Porter to get my Bday right. You better bring it.

(For more pictures of June happiness: Happy days are Here Again)

AND not to be forgotten - FATHERS DAY. Big Love to my Daddio, Dave Ball. The man with a "thinking problem" (buy it for 1 cent- what a bargain), master garden grower, equine enthusiast, craftsman extraordinaire, cat wrangler, excellent walking-down-the aisle-er, golden funny bone, Cupcake Tower making maniac, crazy grandpa, awesome Father-in-Law, bad dog supporter, old timey goldminer, superior camper, Leslie Nelson admirer, gourmet omelet maker, and the Best Dang Tuttin' Dad that ever lived. I know some of you may disagree, but I know the truth.

As we rounded the corner he asked "Are you ready?" "YES!"

I asked Dad to make something simple to display the cupcakes. He made a scale model of the Tower Bridge where Ian proposed. I love my Dad.

It was surprise reveal of the cupcakes. I was a mess

Dad & His Daughters

The most Frustrating Waiting Room in Berlin

You too can be greatly annoyed in Berlin in just 3 easy steps!

1. Arrive in Berlin in need of long-term visa
2. Carefully study rules, regulations, and documents required and assemble your file
3. Go to the Ausländerbehörde (Foreigners Authority) where they will not give you appointment, keep you waiting for hours, have an almost indecipherable accent, ask for documents they hadn't mentioned up to this point, and then merrily (this is a joke as nothing is "merry" here) send you back home to come try again another day.

Eastside Gallery & Fernsehturm

Oh, the Ausländerbehörde. How I hate you.

The "system" is just too bizarre. They deal in actual paper files. When we showed up this spring, they had pulled our actual files with all of our info from the 2007-2008 year. Weird, we have a file with the Germans. From what I understand, the US and any place that isn't crazy now deals with files digitally. You send them all the paperwork by attachment before your meeeting so no one wastes any time coming with improper documentiaion. Makes sense.

Also, about your only option since they are close to impossible to get a phone number or e-mail for is just showing up....at 7...am. On our latest trek, we arrived just after 7 (this place is between two S-Bahn stops in the middle of nowhere so there is always a great deal of walking involved) we arrived to find that there were no wait numbers left and a busting full lobby. Huh.

The agent we have been working with told us to just show up and go into room 205. Room 205 is heavily marked with "DO NOT ENTER" signs. We re-group, re-read the e-mail (thank you ipod), and bust on into room 205 with incredulous stares knifing us in the back from the full waiting room. For about 5 minutes you can see people bustling around behind the glass but they are steadfastly ignoring us. We brave the icy German glances and wait. A German girl  enters behind us and asks if we have a number. Ian starts to tell her our life story as I jab in the ribs and finally a woman appears the the desk. The German girl attacks, asking about a visa she is trying to get for her Brazilian husband. The woman cooly asks if she has a number. "Nay, aber...." The woman cuts her off and lets her know she can come back at 10 on Thursday. She tells the girl to be punctual, which the incensed visa-seeker retorts "I was über-pünktlich! I was here 7 before 7!" and storms out.

With that heated exchange out of the way, Ian and I try to be as precise and nice as possible. The woman gives us the "Do you have a number?" spiel and tries to turn us around, but I held fast. Shoving the ipod into her hands with the e-mail, we explain exactly what we have been told to do, and what we are doing. Suddenly- she is helpful! She takes the documents that we are submitting for a second time (as the office they are sending them to is apparently not communicating with them) and gives us a number.

We re-enter the lobby and watch a long line of anxious visa applicants come and go. We had planned that Ian would have time to go to work, but time ticks on by, 8 o'clock, 8:30...he is supposed to be in at 9. He calls out of work and someone's ring tone was seriously "This Endless Moment". All I could do was laugh hysterically.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Finally we were called back in and another stamped extension was waiting for me, as well as an actual appointment in September if they hadn't heard from the other office. What- actual helpfulness?! We were brought back to reality a few days later when our usual agent wrote, first asking us to come in again, and then writing once more to tell us they had our original paperwork so that last trip was a waste of time, AND we would be hearing form them in 2 weeks. Um, thanks.

Ian's visa was a snap as he is in the standard position of teaching English. But the words:
works at home & off-shore company
do not compute for them. I figure they are just trying to find how best to tax me, so come on and let's do it! Enough dog & pony show, let's get this visa worked out.

At the same time as we're doing all this complaining, I am reminded how much more difficult it is for many people to move about . As Americans, we are in the same group as African immigrants who get a lot rougher go than we do. And for anyone who has ever tried to come to the US withtout a very good reason (study/work) it is near to impossible. Just recently there was a "bug" on the Diversity Lottery that allows people to just try for a visa to the US that mis-informed 22,000 people they had a chance. Ouch.

So for all our bitching & complaining, we realize it could be much worse.... (but seriously Germs, give me that visa.)

At least good friends make things much better

Want to hear more about stamps & frustration at the Ausländerbehörde? 

• They love stamps... lots of stamps.
• A Hate Letter to the Ausländerbehörde
• Officially Visa'd

How to Grill on Your Balcony in Berlin

10 Easy Steps to making a delicious grilled meal in Berlin in the comfort of your own home.

(Some steps may be optional)

1. Buy spiffy BBQ

2. Buy tasty meat

WARNING! Do not eat raw meat (although to be sold in Germany, all meat technically can be eaten raw. Eww)

3. Put in charcoal and light. Fill apartment with smell of lighter fluid

4. Put on Grill

5. Lay meat on grill

6. Put on lid....

...and wait

7. Check on meat to find that coals have gone out. Re-light

8. Wait some more

9. Realize you're hungry NOW and succumb to finishing steaks on the stovetop

10. Eat & enjoy a delicious grilled meal made in the comfort of your own home.